when they asked me why I did it

on making an illogical decision

When they ask me, why I did it, show them the grey space between. I am 24 years old and will be making one of the worst financial decisions of my life. A decision that defies logic, the fiscal and physical, the black and white rules of God’s green earth sphere. So, when they ask me, why I did it, please advise them that I try not to operate from there, from the land where dollar sign is king and God is just a white bearded man in the clouds without a say in anything.

When God speaks to you, in symbols and signs, in the whispers of your gut feelings, in the flaps of yellow butterfly wings, you just have to operate a bit differently, and expect misunderstandings from the masses.

So when they ask me, why I did it, show them a big smiling woman, freezing her ass off, far away from home, with no money to spend and no logic to spare. When the ask me why I did it, tell them that one day it will make sense, that I will have something to show for it, and that I hope it will be a more evolved soul. Tell them I traded the money for an investment in a more courageous heart. Tell them I gave it all up for the vision of a patio and a man’s hands, and all the other physical things I am trying to not attach myself to.

So when they ask me, why I did it, why I pulled my pieces away from the chess board, tell them I would rather be dancing, that I never quite liked that game anyway. Tell them that there was a rhythm in my heart, a tune in my soul, that there was just something that I had to follow solely for the sake of following.

So when they ask me, when they ask me, when they ask me… tell them I was just trying my best to follow God’s plan, and that an angel came down and whispered money ain’t an issue.